The Ministry of a Burnt Out Housewife

So, about 2 years I felt inspired to start writing a book, if for no other purpose than to give myself a place to write out many of the things going through my mind about my season of life as a wife and stay-at-home mom. I decided to title it, "The Ministry of a Burnt Out Housewife." Now, 2 years later I think I've written maybe 1/20 of it. What can I say, I'm a starter...but not so good at the finishing thing! So, I was going through old files on the computer the other day and came across this "book" of mine and thought, hmmmm, I should pick this up again. I figured I'd post some of the writings on my blog as I go - some will be old and some will be new. Maybe someday I'll get the book actually finished, but if not at least I'll be able to put some of it here. The first post is an old one and was the intro to the book.

(October 2009) "About 2 weeks ago, my husband and I had a somewhat heated conversation. I had embarked on a new business idea consisting of hand painted signs. Unfortunately, at that time I did not have any place to create my signs other than our kitchen table. With all the time and energy I was putting into getting the signs ready I did not have much time to pick up around the house. I was also making a bit of a mess myself with all my supplies. Now, my husband is a creature of habit. He goes to work and likes to come home to a clean house, which I can completely understand. It is much more relaxing to walk into a home that looks clean and organized than it is to walk into a home that looks like the toy box threw up. And frankly, my husband deserves to have that stress free feeling in his own home after a long hard day of work. The problem is, sometimes I get a little distracted. And this particular week, I was definitely distracted.

The first day my husband didn’t say anything, but I could tell by his demeanor that he was less than pleased at the mess. Our heated conversation occurred on day 2 of him coming home and opening up the door to toy box upchuck. Again, I could tell that he was frustrated and very displeased at the mess he had come home to, so I confronted him. Our conversation led us to a place where I was expressing my frustrating at being expected to have the house clean everyday by the time he gets home. To which my husband unwittingly replied, “Your home all day. It’s your job!” I just sat there, in my chair, feeling like my mouth was hanging open with nothing to say. Not that I couldn’t think of anything to say. Oh, there were words, many words coming to my mind, but none appropriate or productive to say in that moment. What felt like a righteous indignation was rising up in me. How dare he? Does he have any idea how much I actually do around here? There’s the kids doctors appointments, dentist appointments, grocery shopping, field trips, running the kids here and there and everywhere for who knows what, cleaning, cooking, baking, returning the library books, organizing the play room, painting the hallway, planting the flowers out front, and oh by the way I actually have 2 part time jobs on the side. What more did he want from me? I was feeling dry and burnt out and yet, there was a demand for more. Ever feel that way? As “housewives” or “stay-at-home moms” we are committed to a cause that sucks us in way over our heads and sometimes leaves us feeling like we are under paid, under appreciated and in need of a serious vacation (or at least an undisturbed bath).

Over the next few days, as I processed my conversation with my husband, I realized something; most days I viewed my role as a stay-at-home mom as a job. I did what I needed to do, completed my duties, and got the job done for the day, but there was something missing - JOY. What’s up with that? Here I am married to a wonderful Godly man with 3 beautiful children and I’m grumpy with my role in the family. What was going on? God began to speak to me that my “job” as a mother and wife is actually not a “job” at all; it is a ministry. The devil had come in and stolen my joy, convinced me that there was something better out there, and blinded me to the ministry opportunities that I had everyday with my kids, my husband, and the people that I came in contact with throughout my busy day. I had simply chosen to agree with the lie that I was nothing but an unimportant stay-at-home mom than rejoice in the truth that God has chosen me to be his hands and feet to my family. What a calling!"