What Ferguson has taught me...

OK, so let me first start out by saying that this perspective is from that of a while, middle class woman.  I’ve been privileged all my life.  During my single-mom-in-college days I navigated my way through some of the welfare system, which was an interesting venture, but that’s as “unprivileged” as it gets for this girl.  I’ve never had to worry or wonder if I was being targeted simply because of the color of my skin.  I’ve never had that fear for my children.  I acknowledge that. 

Over the past weeks I’ve read numerous articles, blog posts, interviews, facebook status updates, etc. about the Ferguson tragedy, and the conclusion, the only real conclusion that I’ve come to, is that we as the American people like to pick sides. 

We pick a side and then we find evidence to fit, even if unintentionally.  I have yet to read or hear anything that doesn’t feel like it invites you to one side or the other.  I feel like we become so focused on our own perspective that we forget about the people.  Sure we use their names as the face for our cause, but are they truly our focus or are we driven more by innate fears and biases that lie beneath the surface of our own hearts.   A perfect example of this is those who have used the local death of a beautiful teacher by a young black man to perpetuate their perspective (which in my opinion is so out of context and is motivation behind this personal rant). 

Honestly, I still have yet to figure out where I stand.  I don’t know if I’ll truly ever know.  I feel like I’m stuck in some weird, middle ground, no-man’s land.  My heart breaks for Michael Brown’s family, for a mother who will never get to see the hopes and dreams for her son realized.  That hits home for me.  My heart aches for Darren Wilson and what he has had to and will have to deal with in these coming years.  Such a tragedy does not end well for anyone involved EXCEPT by the grace of God.

And so that is how I pray.  That’s God’s grace would sweep this nation.  That what the enemy intended for evil, God will use for HIS glory.  That all who are wounded by this tragedy, and tragedies that have taken place this season, would have an encounter with the God who heals all wounds and brings HOPE. 

Without God, I do not believe this nation will see the unity and love that it deeply craves.  We love because HE first loved us (1 John 4:19).  So I pray for my own heart, that God would bring the fears and biases to the surface.  That I will be able to receive God’s love so that I can love others as He has loved me.  I guess that is my stand.  God help me.  God help us all.

When Someone Else's Child Becomes Your Own

"A child born to another woman calls me mommy.  The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me."  Jody Landers.

March 20th was a beautiful, long awaited day.  It was the day that we "officially" welcomed our beautiful son, Daniel, into our forever family.  It was a day that we had longed for, prayed for, and desired with all our hearts for over 18 months.  It was glorious, and it's all still sinking in.

What is it like to desire with all your heart for someone else's child to become your own?  What is it like to sit in the same room with the mother of that child and see her tears, her desires to be a mother, and still desire for that child to become your own?  It's complicated.

I am forever grateful to this woman, this other mother, for choosing life, for loving our little boy, and in the end for trusting us with such a precious gift.  I pray for her joy and peace.  In those moments when her heart and arms ache to hold our little one, God, comfort her.  May she know that she is loved and cherished by a Heavenly Father who will not wrong her like her earthly one.  May everyday hold a piece of healing for the heart that longs to hear our little one call her "mommy." 

And when that little one calls me "mommy,"  may I never forget the privilege that comes with those words.  The beautiful and heart-wrenching privilege of someone else's child becoming my own.